I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just blew my weed a kiss
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
