so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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