I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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