Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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