South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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