you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
