i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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