Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize