wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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