Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
