My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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