I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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