Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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