R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize