who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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