god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
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