I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
