I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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