I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
