I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
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Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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