Umm I'm too high to move.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
