My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
