so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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