my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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