so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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