The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
