Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
