I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
