Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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