Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
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