This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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