Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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