I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
