it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
