Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize