can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm just crazy horny about you
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
