I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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