paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
