i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
