Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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