Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize