I hate your face
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
