"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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