The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Dear god my vagina.
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