I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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