I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
