never play flip cup with pint glasses
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
