Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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