It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
