Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
