if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
