Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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