I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize