After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
