Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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