The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
