people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
