What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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