My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
